Make me a servant
Humble and meek
Lord let me lift up those who are weak
And may the prayer of my heart always be
Make me a servant
Make me a servant
Make me a servant today
I have found this to be the ONLY song Blair likes to be sung to her. It somehow completely calms her down and every night I rock her to sleep in my arms singing it softly to her. Once we were finished breastfeeding I got really sad thinking we wouldn't have anymore bonding experiences together, but sitting in this rocking chair lulling her to sleep with this song ... it does something in my heart and it reminds me that every day I am called to be the best servant I can be to these little people.
Sometimes this work can feel unimportant and frustrating and so tiring. Many moments and many days I feel completely frazzled, forgetful, chaotic, and overwhelmed. But these moments, quietly singing this song to a beautiful, sweaty sleeping child sticking against my chest, I can experience a quiet-- sacred, space. Sometimes with life going at full speed I think we forget that the chaos, craziness, and times we feel overwhelmed won't last forever. It's not always a reflection of us. Even the hard stages of motherhood, they all pass and they are all temporary. For good or for bad. But it's only in the wake of those moments - the ones we might wish away - that we can really, fully feel the depth of the good parts. The light needs the dark to shine and in that sense I think we've got to know what the noise feels like to appreciate the peace. All you mamas out there, keep on keeping on. You are doing hard, hugely important work. We wouldn't get to experience the depths of the sacred without the pits of the crazy ... And help us to learn to be grateful for both. <3
