it's not always easy, but it's all so very, very worth it.

Before I had Landon, before I ever met Chris and dimly even thought about getting pregnant myself, I would see mothers with their children out and about in shopping malls, grocery stores, parking lots, locker rooms, you name it, and I would catch their conversations and interactions and think to myself, 'god, that mother can't even control her own kid,' or I've thought, 'that woman is acting like she is below the age of her child,' and, 'I will never react that way and say those things to my child when I am a mother'. Truly, I said and promised myself these things.

When yesterday, I found myself crossing the street with Landon when he decided to let go of my hand, throw himself on the concrete, and kick and scream like I've never seen him before. I put my hand up to the driver waiting for us to cross to motion 'STOP' and 'thank you' and pled with him to get up and walk. My hands were full with his water, lunch box, and new Razor scooter I was now carrying because he decided he didn't want to scoot to the park anymore, he wanted to walk. After a few failed attempts to reason with or try to excite my toddler to cross the street, I scooped him up in one arm, scooter, water, and lunch in the other. Only he is wearing his new Timberland boots, and only he just learned how to kick. Hard. He lashes out at me so hard my entire right leg and arm give way and he falls to the ground, along with the scooter, water, and lunch spilling out all around us. I motion to the driver once more, this time a 'SORRY!' and realize there are now three more cars behind him. I pick up all his his snacks and scooter with one hand and some some sort of instinctual mom ninja move with the other, which consists of a quick arm around his middle, carrying him sideways while he screams and cries, legs and boots lashing out into the thin air behind us. I am sick, my muscles hurt, I am tired and sweating, and I have fresh snot streaming down my own face from an awful sinus infection with no free arm to wipe it away. But we make it across the street. And the driver's are shaking their heads in frustration and disdain as they pass and turn by us. True story, and I'm embarrassed.

But any mother, even the most loving, kind-hearted, patient, and Mother Teresa of all mothers will tell you: motherhood is hard work. Some days, are just hard. Motherhood is really not for the weak. It is not for the tired. And it is certainly not for the lazy.

Your child will hit, kick, slap, and bite you. They will poke you deep in your eyeball because they think it's funny. They will throw a golf ball square at your mouth from a foot away because they don't understand. They will backslap you across the face in the middle of the night just as you fell into a rare, coveted, deep sleep. They will step on and break your new lap top. They will scream at the top of their lungs at you in the middle of the street, in the middle of Macy's, in the middle of swimboree class, and of course when you're on an important phone call. That same child will keep you up all night, because they don't feel like sleeping in their new bed all alone, and because they have the fine luxury of taking naps during the day. And you will be waking up for the day no later than 3 hours from when they finally go back to bed, with a migraine and eye bags and going about your day when all of a sudden its past noon and you realize you forgot to brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and comb your hair. But if you're lucky, another mother will see you while you're frantically looking for your keys or cell phone, and give a kind, understanding smile and entertain your kid with funny faces while you simultaneously unload your grocery cart.

But even after all of that has occurred, and it's typical that the events described above will all happen within the same 24 hours - but that same day - you will hear your child call you "mau mau" for the first time. Your. heart. will. melt. Your darling baby will hold onto your legs as you let him to the ground and refuse to let go of you. He will see you the second you arrive to pick him up from childcare with the biggest, brightest, most excited eyes, and run to you and hug you. He will laugh hysterically at you when you jump out and scare him or when you do something quirky and think you're the most clever comedian in the whole world. He will look up at you with concerned eyes for encouragement or discipline when he's not sure if he should do something. He will give you a kiss. A big, fat, beautiful kiss right square on your lips. He will have you lay down on his bed, he will turn off his bedroom light, motion and say "shhhh" to you, put his blankie near your face, gently pat your head, and try to put you to sleep the exact way you do to him. And all this will make you forget all the crap they put you through earlier that day.

My little one is turning 2 and 1/2 this month. Our time together has truly flown by at the speed of light. I am amazed that we've all survived this long with no major hiccups because sometimes, it's been really, really hard. But that's exactly the thing - the hardest things in life are the most rewarding. No matter how bad it gets, and it does get bad, it is also amazing. Absolutely amazing. And at the end of every day, I am always, always grateful for my child. For who he is, for who he is growing up to be, and for who he makes me. I never knew how strong I could be. I didn't know the capacity I have for not giving up or taking the easy way out. I never knew my capacity for true, unconditional, self-sacrificial love and I never knew how big this feeling of love and protection could be. It is simply overwhelming and it is truly indescribable to be someone's mother and to feel those thousands of feelings every single minute of every single day.

And this love is enough to get us through the hard.

Thank you for everything you've given me. You are loved so very, very much. (Even when you're a little stinker).

"mau mau"

Canvas Crafts

Home sick with sinus infections and no car = lots of creativity festering in the bauman house:

 Landon's masterpiece

 Step 1: sticky letters

Step 2: paint, dry, & peel

gorilla glue crayons to canvas & blow dry

Happy Monday :)

thankful

It's so easy to get caught up in the little things in life, letting stress build up over meaningless things that we can't control and take over our minds and actions. It's far too easy to think and act out of greed, selfishness, fear, or anxiety. It's too easy to get caught up in ourselves and take many precious, precious things for granted. Today I am changing that. I have been blessed beyond measure and I am thankful for today and every day that God has chosen to give me. I am here to love, to give thanks, to spread joy, to help and be a blessing to others.
“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy.”
― Thomas Merton
I'm taking the day and rest of this week off from the internet and totally unplugging to spend time with my family. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and blessed holidays and praying for the continued spirit of Thanksgiving amongst everyone throughout the year.

homemade cranberry sauce

If you are one of those people who have always been intimidated by making your own cranberry sauce & have always just used store bought or canned, this post is for you :) This homemade cranberry sauce is seriously so, so easy to make that you will never want to use canned again. And not only is it easy peasy but it tastes amazing. Be prepared for your friends and family to "oooh" and "ahhhh" over this and they will call you "Martha" and hate you for it but that's okay, they don't need to know how ridiculously simple this was to make.

What You'll Need: (I doubled this for our Thanksgiving since I'll be serving 8-10 people)
- One 12 oz bag fresh cranberries
- 1 Cup orange juice
- 1 Cup white sugar (optional split with brown sugar (2/3 white and 1/3 cup brown)
- Peeled orange rinds from 1-2 oranges
- Orange preserve or raspberry preserve
- Optional 2 oz gold rum

Directions:
1. Dissolve sugar in OJ over medium heat.
2. Stir in cranberries and orange rinds and cook for about 15 minutes or until you hear cranberries start to "pop."
3. Add in several dollops of orange or raspberry preserve for a "thicker" sauce.
2. Remove from heat, transfer to dish, & serve at room temperature. It looks runny at first but the sauce will thicken upon standing. It can be made days ahead of time and brought to room temp or slightly heated before serving - so go ahead and try it out today!

Hope you enjoy & have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

i don't know where this came from, but i'm sharing.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

easy peasy homemade brushetta

Just came home from the gym and was super duper starving and didn't have much time to make anything until my stomach caved in --- Enter my new favorite, easy peasy 10 minute homemade brushetta. I ate this for my lunch but think it would be great to have as a lil app before an italian dish or as a quick pick dish when entertaining. 

What You'll Need:

- pesto sauce. (Homemade if you want, I just used jarred). I also used a basil pesto (delicious) but regular pesto works just fine.
- fresh tomatoes (roma would probably be preferred, I just used whatever kinds I had left in my fridge).
- fresh grated parmesan cheese.
- french bread or crostini (I used the Whole Foods brand seasoned crostini, but any kind will do).

Directions:
1. Preheat broiler.
2. Place bread/crustini on baking dish. If you're using french bread loaf, just cut about 1 inch between slices.
3. Spread on the pesto & chopped tomatoes.

 4. Sprinkle on parmesan cheese and throw in the oven.
5. Watch these little puppies! They take only a few minutes to cook. When the edges look toasted and the cheese slightly melted, they are finito!

*Best served hot right out of the oven. Enjoy!

little bits

 thanksgiving crafts for little hands

::best friends::

Ready for a dog

 L eating (&loving!) his collard greens! *recipe: break up into bite sized pieces (leaving out stem that runs down leaf, just tear around) and throw into baking dish. drizzle with olive oil & a dash of salt & pepper. cook at 350 for 10/15 minutes. take out and stir around, you may want to cook longer or add more evoo &/or salt &/or pepper. so delicious! and stocked with tons of healthy nutrients - double win :)

 When Chris comes home too late

 he's a huge help with the yard work.

 homemade pizzas (recipe)

 family snuggle sesh

 homemade treats for our new neighbor friends

 this also happened over the weekend

 so happy

first butterball turkey purchase - gettin' ready to host my first thanksgiving :) No, I won't be eating this, but at least my guests will be mowing down on a hormone free bird

Him, always him. <3

diy salt dough christmas ornaments :)

Yes I realize it's early November but we get a lil ready for Christmas around here. I was actually pulling my hair out working on some federal foreclosure cases and Landon was crying at my feet when I decided to shut down my computer and do something fun with him. & these lil ornaments were a really fun craft and very easy to make. This batch yields a ton of ornaments (about 25-30, depending on the size of your cookie cutters) so I'm planning on hanging a few on our tree and then gifting out to L's friends & relatives. Cause we're all about home-made with love gifts :)

Here's What You'll Need:
- ½ cup salt
- 1 cup flour
- ½ cup water
- Rolling pin
- Cookie sheet
- Toothpick
- Miniature cookie cutters: stars, Christmas tree, hearts, whatever your heart desires. We also made baby elephants
- Acrylic paints: Whatever colors you want your ornaments to be
- Glitter glue or glitter paint (optional)
- ribbon

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees F.
2. Mix together, salt, flour, and water until dough is formed.
3. Knead the dough on a floured surface until the mixture is elastic and smooth. If dough is too sticky, sprinkle with flour, continue to do so until stickiness is gone. Do not add too much flour, this will dry out the dough and will cause it to crack before you get a chance to bake it.
4. Roll out the dough to about ¼'' thick with a rolling pin that has been dusted with flour.
5. Use cookie cutters to cut out your ornaments.

6. Use a toothpick to make a hole toward the top of the shape. Poke the toothpick into the shape, then holding toothpick straight up and down, make a circular motion as if you were stirring something.
7. Place all shapes onto an ungreased cookie sheet and place into the preheated oven.

8. Bake for 2 hours.
9. Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.
10. Paint!

*Tip: Use the handle end of the paint brush to paint dot ornaments on your trees.
*Optional: When paint is dry, use glitter glue or glitter paint to put a sparkling cover coat on your ornaments.
11. When dry, thread ribbon through hole and tie in a knot in the back.

& yes, our Christmas tree is up ;)

trick or treat! slim shady style

This was our first year taking L trick-or-treating and it was honestly the best Halloween of my life. He got the hang of it right away and had a blast ringing all the doorbells and collecting candy in his little pumpkin bucket. Our costumes were random with no family theme -- I was a ninja turtle, Chris a football player, and probably the last time I got to decide on Landon's costume as Slim Shady. But I have to say he pulled off a mini Marshall Mathers pretty damn well :)

Hope everyone else had a happy, spooky, scary & safe Halloween!!